Life With True Crime Herpes

The idea for this project started with Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story on Netflix. I left North Carolina and live in another part of the country with a different last name. No one who knows me now knew anything about my family, and the majority of them still don't. I like it that way, because I am just me to them. But I have a disease I call True Crime Herpes. I got it when I was ten, it will never be cured, and every now and then, it flares up.

Two years ago, Netflix released the Monster anthology series and season one was all about Jeffrey Dahmer. It won awards and media attention and Aaron Peterson won a Golden Globe. The public and social media was blowing up and the families of the victims were in the spotlight either by choice or by accident. Jeffrey Dahmer was arrested in the early 90s, and some of his victims have neices and nephews that never knew what really happened to their uncles. The man's poor brother fiercely protects his privacy and I honor him for that. My point is that in 2022, the Dahmer strain of true crime herpes had a flair up. Peoples lives were disrupted and saddened for the sensationalism and fascination for a brief time. Now we have moved on to the Menendez brothers.

I did what I always do when one strain or another has a flair up. My first, human nature thought is, "better them than me." Then I shake myself for thinking it and then I remember every stare, comment, or obnoxious question I have ever been asked and then I have vicarious annoyance and pain with them. I did a sibling group text and asked, "what if we are next? What if someone gets bored and decides we would make a great mini-series?" Just to be clear, there are no laws or copyright permissions to be asked or signed by family members of killers or families of victims. Families don't usually make a dime off the story either. If they make any money it is nothing compared to the actors and Hollywood producers.

My siblings ignored me because almost forty years later they want to live their lives too, and no one who has it wants to talk about any kind of herpes. But I think it's time to talk about True Crime from our point of view. Especially if I live with the fear of a flair up.

I was ten when my aunt and her boyfriend/first cousin (don't get me started, more later) killed seven other people. I turned fifty last month. This is a long time to manage a disease, and I'm going to write about growing up in the true crime real world. I have found that grief and humor go hand in hand and I use a lot of them. I also want this space to be a place not just for true crime fans, but also those that grieve and need some reassurance that life will get better again. Some posts are going to be hilarious. Some are going to be designed for those that need to get through a dark day. Others will be spiritual based on my experiences in the progressive Episcopal church. I will try to make sure each one will be well marked.

A word of warning to the reader, one of the symptoms of True Crime Herpes is that we don't really trigger the way other people do. We talk about sad and traumatic things without batting an eye. So read at your own risk. If you let me, I'll tell you all about the times I was asked to help write a book report, got drunk dialed by friends from elementary school telling me they loved me, and the time a doctor came up to me at a lecture in a library and said, "Hey! I'm from Reidsville. Which one were you?" in front of my clueless son.

My Episcopal upbring teaches me to respect the dignity of every human being and love my neighbor as myself. That's what I do on a good day. Other days, I say screw it. Screw your blog, screw you documentary, screw your made for tv movie, but especially.... SCREW YOUR TRUE CRIME PODCAST.